A Nice Cold Brew

Save some money this summer (no pants required!)

As befits my extremely Canadian bitching about our brief summers I got my comeuppance this week as the thermometer popped its cork and the daytime heat is now approaching tropical. 

Mornings, however, are gorgeous and even though the early sunrise and green outdoors beckon I still need a dose of caffeine to be a functional human. It’s never really too hot for coffee but there are some sweaty days when it’s just a bit hard to bear. Chilled coffee beverages certainly have summertime appeal but they are a little really hard on the wallet.

If you’re already a fan of the fancy iced coffee drinks you’ll need no convincing:  your local Starbucks has an endless variety of iced things that are not only delicious but insanely expensive.  A few weeks ago I popped into to my local ‘bucks for something cool and my Tall Toasted Vanilla Iced Oatmilk thingy set me back over $6!  Considering that it was gone in three slurps that’s more than $2 a gulp. 

Fer f*ck sakes.

Thankfully, you can have excellent cold coffee drinks without a wait in the drive thru or annoyances like putting on pants.  Best of all, you can have a refill without taking out a second mortgage or selling an organ.

Now, if you’re a java-nerd you already know that iced coffee and cold brew are different.  Iced coffee is hot brewed coffee served cold and/or poured over ice.  Cold brew is, as its name suggests, brewed with cold water.  It takes longer to make than a hot brewed version so you have to plan ahead a bit, but the cold version leaves you with a brew that is both smooth and strong.

There’s no special equipment needed, you can customize the crap out of it (just like Starbucks!) and – you know it – it’s another ratio!

The ratio for cold brew is 1 ounce (28 grams) of coarse ground coffee to 1 cup (250 ml) of cold water.  That is probably more than you’re using for your hot brewed coffee, but the basic (and terribly oversimplified) explanation is that cold water extracts fewer flavour compounds than hot water, so you need more coffee to make a brew of similar intensity and flavour.  However, the cold water method extracts fewer of the acidic and bitter compounds, making for a smoother brew.

The coarse grind of the coffee is important and your local coffee purveyor (or the machine at the supermarket) will happily grind it for you. A fine grind will turn to mud and, even with some serious filtering, will leave you with a mucky brew. Too much surface area (ie. a finer grind) also risks over-extracting the caffeine. More caffeine may sound like a good thing but it really isn’t - I’ve got a cautionary tale below!

Remember that you’re brewing a concentrate, so no matter if you prefer your coffee dark and bitter like your soul or creamy and sweet you will need to dilute it with either equal parts water or milk/alt-milk. If you drink this stuff neat you’re drinking rocket fuel.

You will need a bit of time to make this, so let’s get started, shall we?

The Gear:

• A quart-sized jar or bowl with lid (or covering)

• A spoon

• Fine mesh strainer

• Coffee filter (basket-type works best)

• Measuring cups

• Scale or measuring spoons

• Funnel

• A second bowl or wide-mouth jar

The Ingredients:

• 3 ounces/84 grams/scant 1/3 cup of coarse ground coffee

• 3 cups cold water

The Technique:

• Measure out your coffee.

• Pour your coffee into your jar or bowl. A funnel helps!

  

• Pour your water over your coffee.

• Stir and allow the coffee to soak/hydrate for about 5 minutes.

  

• Stir again. This ensures that all the grounds are fully hydrated.

  

• Cover jar/close lid and refrigerate or leave at room temperature for at least 10-12 hours, but no more than 24.

Now, here’s the thing. Your coffee will brew faster at room temperature, so if you are in a hurry you can leave it on the counter. However, the longer you brew it the stronger and more caffeine bounce it will have, so under no circumstances brew it longer than 24 hours.

I once made the foolish mistake of forgetting my coffee in the back of the fridge. I think it brewed for the better part of 72 hours. Once filtered, diluted, and sweetened it was delicious, but in a few minutes I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I was having severe anxiety and bouncing around like a rabbit on amphetamines. It was not a good experience - at all. So while you may consider yourself a caffeine pro be aware that you can overdo it.

• Once your coffee has brewed to your satisfaction strain it through a sieve lined with a coffee filter. It will go slowly, so be patient.

  

• Rinse your original jar, or find a clean one. Pour your strained coffee into the jar and refrigerate until needed.

  

There may still be a little fine sediment in your coffee, so filter it a second time if you are so inclined.

If you like your coffee sweetened (even a little) make a simple syrup since granulated sugar won’t dissolve well in your cold coffee. Like its name suggests, it is super-simple to make: Stir one part water with one part sugar (so half a cup of each) and bring to a boil. Turn off and let cool. Feel free to add a vanilla pod or a cinnamon stick to the pot if you like that sort of thing.

And since brown sugar drinks are trending this summer use brown sugar to make your syrup and you too can be one of the cool kids.

A tablespoon or two of syrup and water or milk of your choice (equal parts with the coffee, mind you!) and you’ve got yourself a fancy-pants coffee drink that will rival your local coffee shop. No pants required.

And hey, you guys - Substack has rolled out a new feature - polls! It will help me get to know you, my awesome readers, a little better and your answers will inspire future newsletter topics. Why don’t we give it a try?