Food For Thought: Other People’s Kitchens

A survival guide for cooking away from home

There’s always a little bit of stress when you are cooking for other people.  Even if you aren’t trying to impress them you still want them to enjoy it, if only to avoid hearing grumbling and moaning while your brow is still damp from slaving over the stove.  If you’ve got kids you know exactly what I’m talking about.

But if you really want to spike your stress level into meltdown territory try cooking for other people, and doing it in their kitchen.

We are all creatures of habit, and to a far greater extent than most of us realize.  There are so many things that we do so automatically that we barely remember them.  Proprioception, our “sixth sense”, allows us to know where our bodies are in space and navigate by the position of our limbs, the angle of our joints, and the way we negotiate load and balance.  Proprioception is why you can do things like type without looking at your hands, and why you don’t completely splatter an egg when you crack it. 

Now repeat some of these movements thousands of times and you have very powerful muscle memory.

We repeat the same movements over and over when we cook, and when we cook in our own kitchens we create patterns of movement tailored to our environment.  We know where to reach for the knife rack.  We put cutlery in a drawer while we’re emptying the dishwasher.  We prop open the fridge door with our foot while we’re standing at the stove.  We know where the pots and pans are, that the mustard is always kept in the door of the fridge, the special trick to fix the can opener, and that the sheet pans are stored in the space between the wall and the countertop.

Even if our kitchen is somewhat short of an Architectural Digest fantasy it’s ours, we know how it works, and we can navigate it with our eyes closed.  So it drives us all slightly mad to work in someone else’s kitchen.

And, like Christmas and the solstice-adjacent holidays, the summer is where we often find ourselves in other peoples’ kitchens.  We may be back home for a visit with family, at a cottage or camp with friends, or even just helping out with a backyard barbeque in the neighbourhood.  And if you have any reputation among family and friends as an enthusiastic cook you’ll often find yourself with a knife, barbeque tongs, or a dishtowel in hand.  It can be a lot of fun – a way to share a favourite recipe, to be a good guest, or to simply enjoy a communal activity. 

But there is, in fact, no place quite like home so here are some tips to help you survive and even enjoy cooking away from home:

Pack the essentials.  Don’t assume that your hosts have the tools or ingredients you’ll need. Chefs often carry a knife roll or tool box if they cook in more than one kitchen or are particular about certain utensils or gadgets. If a whisk is absolutely essential you should bring one.  Same goes for serving dishes or cookware of a particular size.  And don’t make assumptions about ingredients.  You host may cheerfully tell you they have rice you can use, but imagine how annoyed you’ll be if it turns out to be minute rice. 

Arrive early.  Don’t show up earlier than your host’s invitation, but do plan for everything to take significantly more time than it would at home.  Ovens doesn’t pre-heat the same, the chicken may still be frozen, and you’ll have to find a substitute for something – it’s a virtual guarantee!  Even if you have everything you need you won’t be able to find it as quickly as you would at home and those seconds and minutes do add up.

Delegate.  Cooking can be a communal activity so get other people involved.  Give everyone a task and try not to micro-manage.  Even the most kitchen-shy people can set tables, organize serving platters, refresh drinks, and clear tables.  Everyone can help with something, but one task best taken on by the host is putting the dishes away after they’re dry – otherwise they might never be found again!

Communicate.  “Too many cooks in the kitchen” isn’t just an expression.  While a group of line cooks can move smoothly and navigate tight spaces in what almost looks like artistic dance, a bunch of people who don’t cook together on a regular basis is a recipe for accidents, both culinary and medical.  If everyone thinks they are responsible for seasoning the soup you’ll end up with a very salty soup.  Worse, you can have people tripping and spilling things.  Reminding everyone to say things like “I’m opening the oven door behind you!” and “Coming through with a hot pot!” keeps everyone safe.  You may feel more chatty and social after a few adult beverages, but it’s better for everyone to keep them to a minimum until the hot and sharp stuff is put away.

Remember your mise en place. Mise en place or “mise” is the classy French term for “having your shit together”.  Do as much as you can in your own kitchen before you arrive, even if it seems like overkill.  Bring things you’ve pre-made at home, or at the very least have your ingredients prepared so you need only assemble on site.  The thought of bringing chopped onions only seems silly until you have to navigate someone else’s crappy and dangerously dull knives.

After so many lost seasons and months during the pandemic there is huge demand for getting together with friends and family, and cooking and eating together is a big part of such social activities.  Just remember these few tips to keep your stress level down.  You might not have all the comforts and familiarity of home but it can still be fun.