You're a Good Egg, Part 3

Scrambled eggs are a lifesaver

There’s a Yiddish saying that “Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lach”  meaning “Man Plans, God Laughs”.  That’s kind of how I feel about my newsletter today.

I’m having a super busy week so I tried to be extra organized.  I had everything written in advance and just needed the photos to demonstrate the technique.  Trust me, you would have loved what I was planning.

But you see where this is going, right?

In my haste I managed to screw up the recipe in a way that was utterly unfixable and I was running out of time. Not only did I have to come up with an entirely new idea, I couldn’t re-purpose anything I had written for today’s publication.

But necessity is the mother of invention (aka panic gets shit done), so I used this morning’s breakfast as inspiration.  When you’re hungry and in a hurry there’s no better breakfast than scrambled eggs.

Scrambled eggs are fast, delicious, economical and, when you’re in the right frame of mind, absolutely decadent.  They can be a quick breakfast, a midnight snack, or can dress to impress at a fancy brunch.  They are easy enough for a small child to manage and fancy enough for a French chef. And it’s a dish where a little technique makes a huge difference.

Almost every chef has their own style, but most everyone agrees that you want a tender curd of egg and a smooth buttery flavour.  There are differences of opinion on dry vs. wet and firm vs. soft, but I submit that if you prefer your scrambled eggs dry and firm you probably know how to make them that way.

I like my scrambled eggs soft and creamy with an almost unholy amount of butter.  Soft and creamy doesn’t mean that they aren’t cooked, but rather that they aren’t overcooked and because eggs cook so quickly most people have dry eggs by the time they hit the plate. But I’m going to show you how to stop the cooking process and how to balance the richness of eggs and butter. It’s easy.

The Gear:

• Well-seasoned cast iron or non-stick pan

• Heat-proof spatula

• Bowl

• Fork (a whisk if you must, but overkill I think)

The Ingredients:

• Eggs (I suggest 3)

• Salt and pepper

• Butter

• 35% cream/sour cream/crème fraîche (optional, but recommended)

The Method:

• Crack your eggs into the bowl and whisk with a fork.  You’re looking for a side-to-side motion that harnesses the power of shear force to break up the eggs.  You want the egg to pour through the tines of the fork – if it’s ropey or clumpy you could end up with streaks of egg white in your scramble.

  

• Season your eggs with salt and pepper and whisk a bit more.  Remember, start with less and add more, and if you’re using salted butter be sure to under-season a bit.  If you aren’t squeamish about raw egg give it a finger-dip to taste – it’s the only way to be sure.

• Heat your pan over medium heat and add butter to melt.  Add more than you think you need – a solid tablespoon or two is entirely reasonable.  Swirl to coat the bottom of the pan.

• Watch your pan carefully as the butter melts.  Once it melts it will crackle a bit as the water cooks off.  The butter will foam up and when the foam subsides be ready with your eggs and have a few tablespoons of cream/sour cream/crème fraîche at the ready. This is the butter foaming:

  

  And this is the butter when it’s ready to go. It’s just starting to brown and get extra delicious:

  

• Take the pan off the heat and add the eggs.  Allow them to set for a few seconds.

  

• Push the eggs from the edges towards the centre of the pan and stir in a figure 8 motion. The figure 8 helps ensure that large curds aren’t forming in any one place.

  

• If you want your eggs a little firmer you can put them back on the heat for a second or two (really… a second or two).

• When your eggs look almost ready (as in a still a bit wetter than you’d prefer), pour in a small amount of your cream/sour cream/crème fraîche and stir.  This is critical because it stops the cooking process.  If you don’t have any other dairy you can use a little bit of butter – unless it is frozen or super-cold it will melt fine. Heck, if you’re really in a pinch you could add some mayonnaise - it’s not gross - mayo is mostly eggs and oil, right? Makes sense.

  

• Your eggs are done.  Serve with toast or your favourite breakfast sides.

A word about garnishes.  These eggs are buttery and creamy, and thus benefit from some freshness and particularly from some acidity.  Fresh herbs of all kinds are pretty standard and can even be whisked in before cooking, though a little extra on top can add some contrast to each bite.  Spring onions are delicious and a little more robust than chives.  Michelin-starred chef Heston Blumenthal recommends a dash of sherry vinegar (heck ya!) and if you’re feeling bling you could top your eggs with caviar.

And a word about the fat.  Someone desperately wants to ask me if you can substitute milk for the creamier stuff because isn’t this awfully rich?  Well, you CAN, but milk is mostly water, and water at the end will make your eggs…watery.  If you’re hell-bent to tone down the calories you could try evaporated milk (not the thick sweetened condensed milk), but isn’t “healthy” what poached or boiled eggs are for?

My breakfast of scrambled eggs with salsa, green onion, cilantro, and a few pickled banana peppers was delicious and ready in less time than it took to toast the bread.  It didn’t make up for my ruined recipe, but it came close.

I could have told you that I picked scrambled eggs this week because it’s Mother Day on Sunday and I know you’re planning a nice brunch or breakfast in bed for the Mom in your life.  And you’d believe me too, but I think it’s better to tell you that even cooks like me screw up sometimes and no matter what happens you can always count on scrambled eggs to be a lifesaver (in more ways than one!)